What an Elopement Means to Me
To elope is to create a wedding day that feels like home
Eloping is a gift of presence and mindfulness. It breathes space into a wedding to feel without distraction.
Elopements are a safe space to love as you are. Free of expectations or traditions.
You are free to hear each other’s heartbeats, to feel a soft rain on your cheeks, and breathe with the wind in the trees.
The memories of a wedding day fade all too quickly - trust me, I know. More resistant to fading is how it felt, the emotions that work their way down into your soul. Those emotions are found most in the moments that you don’t plan for - it’s in catching small glances, in the way things sound, and in experiencing something new. It’s what encompasses that feeling of ‘home’.
The elopements I photograph tend to be quiet, reflective, and emotional. We’re brave enough to dive into what we’re feeling without restraint. We’re willing to get a little bit down and dirty because it tells a story. But most importantly it tells YOUR story, as it should be told.
What’s the difference between a wedding and an elopement?
GUIDELINES.
With an elopement, you can say fuck the rules - But to get that ‘elopement feel’ they usually follow these general guidelines:
01. Party Size
Elopements are typically less than 20 people. Weddings can range from 20-200 guests.
What I value most at elopements is the wedding party. YES, you can invite your closest friends and family to one of the most amazing celebrations of your love and the life you are building! By limiting the number of people at your elopement, you are also limiting your party to only the humans (and animals) that have your best intentions at heart. They are the ones you look for in a crowded room and the ones you can’t wait to tell your stories to.
At weddings, you can have a collective of people who have made a significant impact on your life over the years. Including more guests at your wedding can be pretty special, but you can also get roped in to the ‘well, if we invite Aunt Sally then we also need to invite her cousin and her three kids that I see at family reunions’ - and so on. Choosing your party size comes down to a matter of personality, and if you want to be taking care of your guests or if your guests are going to be taking care of you on your wedding day.
02. Budget
The first thing you may think of is that people elope to save money. But that’s not always the case.
Do I believe the wedding industry has been blown way out of proportion? Yes. Do I also believe you deserve to celebrate your love and marriage to the fullest extent? Hell yes.
The average cost of a wedding in the United States is $30,000. If you had $30,000 - what would you do? Where would you go? What experiences would you create for yourselves?
While you definitely do not need to spend that kind of money on a wedding, couples who elope tend to put more money into experiences than into vendors, such as an event space or feeding 100 people. You have the option to invest more into what really matters to you. Rent the cabin you’ve always wanted to stay in and hire a personal chef. Become friends with the photographer of your dreams and travel somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.
03. Location and Planning
Rule one and rule two heavily influence where your wedding day will be held.
Increasing the size of your wedding party and factoring in your budget may dwindle your options for your wedding location.
In planning an elopement, your options are wide open and can be created from scratch. Where will you feel most ‘at home’ on your wedding day? It can truly be anywhere, from staycation vibes in the cute cabin you’ve always wanted to stay in to your favorite ridge hike with expansive views.
With more options comes more responsibility, however. Weddings are actually often easier to plan than elopements are, because with a wedding there is an expected structure to the day. There are 100+ other factors to incorporate into the planning of an elopement, such as weather, transportation between locations, and having a plan B if necessary. It can be a lot like starting an essay, where a blank page can feel so overwhelming. But in the end, it’s something that you own and cherish, and it’s yours.
